I was assaulted by, I mean, encountered, the “Vwhat, you don’t like agave?” Costco lady today. She’s the lady in the “Pure Honey” chapter in my book, I Punched Myself in the Eye. I actually didn’t recognize her until she badgered, I mean, questioned me, on my excessive purchase of Cetaphil Moisterizing Cream. I … Read more
The “Empty Under” got you down? That depressing space under the tree? It’s The Anti-climax; The Post-Christmas bloat. If you need a pick-me-up/way to relax, Download my book, see what I wrote. http://www.amazon.com/Punched-Myself-Eye-self-sabotage-imperfection/dp/1519102100
More or less our conversation just now, the morning after: After the soot settled from the fridge-fire last night, I buried my face in my hands and eked, “Life is an I Love Lucy episode.” “Yeah, first there’s water coming out of the wall, and then we open the fridge and the Smoke Monster from … Read more
Black Friday We see the headlines every year, the herky-jerky video on the twenty-four-hour news: The absurd, before-dawn throng busting through the Walmart doors, demonic eyes narrowed, headed for the electronics. Strangers literally knocking one another to the floor, some with their hands wrapped around a high-def TV . . . or around someone’s … Read more
Thanksgiving is coming up. I’ve been profusely blessed and given outrageous grace. So here’s my list that merely skims the surface. The straight from the trunk, the creamy, teensy-bit-melted, scraped off-with-the-spoon top layer of the Dreyers vanilla ice cream. Also, I’m apparently now obsessed with Tillamook’s Marionberry Pie and Udderly Chocolate. Freshly laundered white sheets—the … Read more
“We are stars—born of fire, wind—born into the chaos…” I have eight examples of them around me—they’re my siblings. Having experienced places like MacLaren Hall, in and out of good and bad foster homes, they’ve lived inside the eye of the storm. They were formed into stars, and chose who they wanted to be. They … Read more
My book, I Punched Myself in the Eye is coming soon to Amazon! I Punched Myself in the Eye is a collection of personal, non-linear, stand-alone essays. Some are downright silly, some are funny with a message, and a few are serious. Mostly they are about receiving understanding in the nonsense, epiphanies in unexpected places, … Read more
Getting in my car in basically my jammies, I hit the 5 before five and beat the early-morning Los Angeles traffic. I’d packed my toiletries and clothes I’d need for my commercial audition in Hollywood and was getting myself ready at the Sunset Boulevard 24-Hour Fitness, above the Archlight movie theatre. Standing in front of … Read more
From the top of the tower, I took this photo with my Kodak Instamatic. Have you noticed? The one-one in September 11 looks like the Twin Towers, or two people standing side by side. At fifteen and about to be a sophomore in high school, I stood on the shoulders of the Twin Towers. I … Read more
It’s 1992. From behind the lens of an 8mm Sony Handycam, John steps into the threshold of the master bathroom where he finds our three-year-old daughter Cassie, with what appears to be, a guilt-smile, and definite makeup all over her face. Most notable is a vertical, deep red line down her left cheek and a … Read more