Like I’m Saying Goodbye

This photo was taken about a thousand years ago before John and I were married. I was NorCal to his SoCal and our weekend was over; our time was up. I was headed home, even though my new home was his heart. When I hugged him goodbye, it was a thing, a breathless thing.

 

Fast forward to a third of a century (What?!) later and last week I was—to be honest—walking around a little taking-things-for-granted. My Nora Jones Pandora was on and I heard the words to this Meghan Trainor/John Legend song:

 

“…No, we’re not promised tomorrow

So, I’m gonna love you like I’m gonna lose you,
I’m gonna hold you like I’m saying goodbye
Forever will stay in, I won’t take you for granted
‘Cause we’ll never know when we’ll run out of time
So, I’m gonna love you like I’m gonna lose you,
I’m gonna love you like I’m gonna lose you

In a blink of an eye,
Just a whisper of smoke
You could lose everything
The truth is you’re never alone
So, I’ll kiss you longer baby
Any chance that I get
I’ll make the most of the minutes
So long with no regret
Let’s take our time to say what we want
Here’s what we’ve got
Before it’s all gone
‘Cause no, we’re not promised tomorrow

So, I’m gonna love you like I’m gonna lose you,
I’m gonna hold you like I’m saying goodbye
Forever will stay in, I won’t take you for granted
‘Cause we’ll never know when we’ll run out of time
So, I’m gonna love you like I’m gonna lose you,
I’m gonna love you like I’m gonna lose you..”

 

Gulp. Nailed me.

 

I think the message of this song is not about living with an insecure love, like the beautiful-yet-sad Amy Winehouse song, “Will You Love Me Tomorrow?”

 

I think Meghan Trainor’s song is about a different kind of loss, like the people I’ve witnessed who lost their beloveds over the relative short term, and some abruptly, but all excruciatingly. Time ran out.

 

This song is applicable to all my beloveds—from my third-of-a-century partner, to my precious children, to my neighbors, to my parents, to the people with whom I’ve lost touch, and even to those I might need to first make amends…and beyond. Thank you, Pandora and Meghan and John Legend, for reminding me to seize the day. Even with the tattoo, I forget.

 

So let me hug hard, even breathless. ‘Cause I never know when I’m going to run out of time.