Job Hazards of a Professional Unpaid People Watcher: The Decorum Chapter Stepping on the escalator at LAX headed for passport control and customs–and ultimately to the upper echelon of Global Entry–I noticed If-you-like-my-body-and-you-think-I’m-sexy Rod Stewart so close I could reach-out-and-touch-him. I didn’t, of course. Pullease. I have some sense of decorum. John … Read more
Beignet Day I don’t know where the idea to celebrate holidays originated with saying “Happy (blank).” Was it Hallmark? However it started, I think some holidays for some don’t begin and end with happy. I don’t mean to be a downer, people, I really don’t. But it has become increasingly clear to me that sometimes … Read more
Have One Best Spoon Two months ago: I wanted to send our Airbnb host a thank-you gift for her hospitality. A nice friendship had sparked while I was staying at her bungalow in March, and one of our conversation themes revolved around coffee. So, after I returned home, I found the perfect … Read more
What You See is Not All That Is I think what I have is a broken blood vessel in my right eye. Google says so. The white of my eye is blood-red and my vision is a little blurry, too. I currently look like a zombie cast member out of “The Walking Dead.” … Read more
Grace Under View We sometimes debate whether a professional comic went too far to make a joke or a point. The argument is like Ping-Pong. What’s vile, what’s funny, what’s mean, what’s PC, what’s art, what’s provocative, what’s smart—whatever. This post is not about that. It’s just not. This … Read more
Shorties at the Bar With two empty seats between us, I sat on a stool at one end of the bar dividing the kitchen and dining room, and my dad sat on the other end, his feet barely touching the ground. Figuratively speaking, he had “the floor.” My mom stood spaced between the … Read more
Ponytail Tale I must keep Goody Ouchless Elastics in business. I lose these ponytail bands all the time and everywhere. I’ll often see one on the ground in public—I spot them in foreign countries and sometimes on the concrete floor in Costco—and I wonder if it’s mine. It goes without being said that … Read more
See See, this is what I’m talking about: “We get so preoccupied with ourselves, the words we speak, the plans and projects we conceive that we become immune to the glory of creation. We barely notice the cloud passing over the moon or the dewdrops clinging to the rose leaves. The ice on … Read more
