This week, I’ve received a few heavenly DMs, which have been reassurances and comforts that cannot be dismissed as coincidences. Just as those had, one landed in my lap a while back: It was a song for Joey. The lyrics describe a little boy being ushered into heaven by the most tender, enveloping embrace, the … Read more
John and I got engaged under the moon on the winter solstice, December 22 The day we married, we were 22 On his way to Mulegé, Joey was 22 He liked the myth of Icarus and the novel Catch-22 The cross street where Joey left this earth was 22 That fateful date was 12/22/22 Yesterday, … Read more
If you saw “Terminator 2: Judgment Day,” you have some familiarity with the LA River. I’d wanted to ride the LA River Bike Path for some time. I’d had some resistance for some time. I was told it was sketchy and unsafe. Repetitively. It’s too close to gangland, John said. We’d be the minority. I … Read more
John Lennon said all you need is love, but I disagree. I just finished a Spanish-language Netflix series that used a beautiful, oft-repeated phrase: “confía en mí.” There is such warmth and music in these precarious and promising words. If the Spanish “confía en mí” is the deepest blue sea, the sound of the … Read more
I rode to the top of Whiting Ranch and got an ocean view. I came home and immediately began making bread. Nearing the end of my 4-hour shift, I was drawn to the audible viewer discretion warning from the CNN anchor perched atop my fridge. The warning was merited. The clip made me weep. I … Read more
I woke to the ding of my phone this morning. I assumed it was the first of many threads about gratitude to come today. But it wasn’t, not really. It was a text from someone who truly knows and loves me and read my most recent post about gratitude. Her words: “I think someone read … Read more
Last Thanksgiving, right before the prayer over turkey and mashed potatoes, our extended family held hands in a circle and were invited by the host to share what we are thankful for. I love these people. But I began to sweat. Of course, I could find something to say. But I didn’t feel like it. … Read more
Having served on a jury for the past three weeks, I learned what a Life Care Planner does. This expert witness, hired by the plaintiff’s attorney, assessed and projected the so-called injured party’s future medical needs and imagined costs over her remaining life expectancy. I surmised this point was intended to seal the deal and … Read more
“Do you see yourself as a feminist?” Joey asked, and before I could answer, he continued, “I do. I think you’re a feminist.” He smiled in approval. His declaration had surprised me. “Why do you say that?” I won’t detail his reasons because it’ll sound boasty, plus feminism isn’t the point. The knowing is. This … Read more
Bearable Children are supposed to bury their parents, not the other way around. It’s known as an “out of order death” when you lose a child. It is the worst jolt I have ever experienced. Experience. My understanding is that this grief will not “go away.” For as long as you love, you will grieve, … Read more