Humble Brags are Gross
Physician Heal Thyself
I bristle at the implication that you are a more highly evolved, spiritual person if you are 24/7 “positive,” in effect, a sunshine-and-roses Pollyanna.
I reject our culture’s overarching pressure (much of it by and for Christians, but it’s not limited to Christians) that if you aren’t perfectly modeling “faith over fear,” something is wrong with you, you are weak, and weak is always bad and shameful. I believe that true, strong, gritty faith sometimes emerges from our vulnerability, by our risky demonstration of weakness—daring to be honest with God and others.
Case in point: I visited a new doctor because my GP just retired. My GP of nearly 30 years, Dr. Louis Scarcela, walked on water. I said as much to this new doc by suggesting he had some pretty big water shoes to fill. Maybe that was my mistake. We discussed my physical health and then transitioned to my emotional health. I told him that, among other stacked losses, I am in grief over the loss of my son, who died nearly two and a half years ago.
He instantly unapologetically pathologized it. He told me that after the one-year mark of losing my son, I shouldn’t be stuck—his words—I should be moving on. I shared that I am actively using tools in my healing toolbox, but according to him, my scalpels weren’t sharp enough. I was shamed, and I will never return.
All he accomplished that day was that I knew I would never tell him another honest thing (besides my strongly worded follow-up email).
If you want to defend him by telling me he was trying to be helpful, that’s not helpful.
Note: Yes, I know doctors are human, too, fully worthy of grace. I highly recommend the powerful Amazon Prime/Britbox drama,“Trauma.”