My book, I Punched Myself in the Eye is coming soon to Amazon! I Punched Myself in the Eye is a collection of personal, non-linear, stand-alone essays. Some are downright silly, some are funny with a message, and a few are serious. Mostly they are about receiving understanding in the nonsense, epiphanies in unexpected places, … Read more
Getting in my car in basically my jammies, I hit the 5 before five and beat the early-morning Los Angeles traffic. I’d packed my toiletries and clothes I’d need for my commercial audition in Hollywood and was getting myself ready at the Sunset Boulevard 24-Hour Fitness, above the Archlight movie theatre. Standing in front of … Read more
From the top of the tower, I took this photo with my Kodak Instamatic. Have you noticed? The one-one in September 11 looks like the Twin Towers, or two people standing side by side. At fifteen and about to be a sophomore in high school, I stood on the shoulders of the Twin Towers. I … Read more
It’s 1992. From behind the lens of an 8mm Sony Handycam, John steps into the threshold of the master bathroom where he finds our three-year-old daughter Cassie, with what appears to be, a guilt-smile, and definite makeup all over her face. Most notable is a vertical, deep red line down her left cheek and a … Read more
“Are you sure you’re not gonna need my help a little longer?” She says, yes, she thinks she can handle it fine alone, now. “Oh, okay.” I try not to cry. I think about Pine State Biscuits. Screen Door on Burnside. The turkey sandwich at Meat Cheese Bread–a weep worthy turkey so nummy, I bought … Read more
It’s very shawarma out. I’m sweating and elbowing my way through the throng at Portland’s Saturday Market, headed back to Cassie’s riverfront apartment. I realize I have sugary elephant ears all over my mouth and chin. I calculate how long ago I’d eaten the sweet street food and it had been a while. I lick … Read more
Joie de vivre [(zhwah duh veev -ruh, veev)]: A love of life. From the French, meaning “joy of living.” If you have a couple of kids, it’s never fair to compare; to do so can only cause harm. They are individuals and should be respected as such. But canines and felines are altogether different beasts, … Read more
Welcome to the first post of my new blog/website. HotpepperSpamwiches went to whole blog heaven. This new site is currently under construction, like my character on some (or most) days. For now, here are some notes on my trip to Portland, late May to who knows. While it is a beautiful, unique city with fabulous … Read more