Patty at the CVS At this point, the front-of-the-store cashier, Patty, had thanked me a least four times for my patience. I have to admit, she seemed impressed. I wanted to tell her that after you bury a child, things like waiting too long in a store are hollow. I wouldn’t say I’m patient, … Read more
The Last Name I whispered it in the theatre, but I needed to raise my volume to correct the actor Patrick Dempsey. We were privileged to see an advance screening of “Ferrari” in Vegas. I did not know the backstory of the Italian race car driver and entrepreneur. I just knew the sight, … Read more
Near Death: Take Away The night preceding the morning I got the phone call that the “end” might be approaching for my dad (we have had other false alarms), John and I just happened to go see the film, “After Death.” Within five minutes of walking through the door at home, returning from the … Read more
Hipsters Didn’t Make Beanies Cool Hipsters didn’t make knit beanies cool, my dad did. Even in the sweltering Central Valley summer heat, as long as I can remember, he wore a beanie. I never thought it was odd. His ensemble of choice was his beanie, white T-shirt, torn blue jeans, and work boots. Yesterday … Read more
The Wide Open I’m getting more and more familiar with riding on Portland’s bikeways—bustling urban streets, whoop-de-do hilly neighborhoods, gravel-sand-dirt-mud, and smooth-ish, paved “protected” bike paths. I see acute angles and vibrant, pulsing juxtapositions. Life as it is. Picturesque rivers and breathtaking, rushing creeks and heartbreaking encampments. My eyes are filled with the sites … Read more
Walking With a Limp I missed church this past Sunday and so I listened to the message online yesterday. A day late and right on time. The subject matter covered a very question I have had on my mental notepad—something I’ve been meaning to ask my pastor about: wrestling/struggling with God and specifically why God … Read more
Lovely Day I have a feeling this is going to be a long post but sometimes miracles are time-consuming. I ended my last Facebook post yesterday with: “The only attention I’m seeking is the kind that believes in asking for miracles. So if you’ve got that kind, we’re a great match.” Turns out … Read more
Occam’s Razor Having someone bear witness to my loss and broken heart is the best comfort. Simple acknowledgment is everything. It’s okay to say his name. I’m guessing that overthinking—not bad intentions—is sometimes the culprit. Bearing witness is less complicated and better than someone bright-siding it or any one of a myriad of grief-fixing … Read more
Fancy Footwork in a Space of Light I feel like a different person. It’s as if I’ve stepped into a new body. I know I will never be the same. Being alive is hard lately. People often ask me if I’m doing better yet and I’m certain I disappoint them. I place a … Read more
Still Over and over again, I would run my finger along the strip right above his eyebrows across his forehead. And he would close his eyes. He’d always settle in. He’d become absolutely motionless. As a newborn, as a toddler—a young boy, a teen, a man. Countless times. I ran my fingers through that … Read more