Every part of this was unexpected (the podcast AND the fallen tree). And then while listening to this podcast, my sneaky tears blindsided me even more. I asked myself, Why was I crying?—and I knew the answer. Hearing it gave me that sense of being fully known (my love language)— even by a non-human AI-generated … Read more

As old as I am, I’m still bad at math and count on my fingers. That’s okay because these digits that have touched the world, and no one counts that high anyway. Just yesterday, I was fourteen when I asked my mom if I could wear mascara, and she said, “Let’s start with Vaseline.” So, … Read more

“In order to catch a wave, the planets have to align . . . not to mention so many other things that must come together in perfect synchronicity. You have to successfully navigate around other surfers, spot a rideable wave, properly anticipate the speed of the wave, paddle your arms like crazy and get into … Read more

“I finally reminded myself that there is simply no way to truly comprehend the struggles of another.” —Kirsten Mickelwait, The Ashtrays are Full and the Glasses are Empty   I fell mute. After Joey died, stringing together a few words felt impossible. As of today, it’s been thirty-one months, and my ability to hold a conversation … Read more

I remember my first encounter with a tumbleweed tornado as a child. I wasn’t afraid. I was mesmerized. I’m no Brick Tamland, the weatherman from “Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy.” I can’t articulate the differences between a dust devil, a hurricane, a cyclone, or a tornado. Let’s say there’s more to it than the … Read more

As a professional people watcher, evidence gatherer, and dot connector, I was on duty at the hair salon this week when I overheard a conversation between two women. “Have you ever been to Hearst Castle? It’s beautiful.” “Hurts Castle?” “Hearst Castle.” “Hurts Castle?” “Huuuuuurst Castle.” She had never been. I’ve never visited Hearst Castle, either—not … Read more

I listen to a podcast called “This is Actually Happening.”  It’s a podcast of true, “unbelievable” stories. I have found that life is chock-full of them. I might write that book. A couple of months after my son died, someone asked me, with a half-smile, expectant raised eyebrows and tone— “Are you doing better yet?” … Read more

Humble Brags are Gross  Physician Heal Thyself I bristle at the implication that you are a more highly evolved, spiritual person if you are 24/7 “positive,” in effect, a sunshine-and-roses Pollyanna. I reject our culture’s overarching pressure (much of it by and for Christians, but it’s not limited to Christians) that if you aren’t perfectly … Read more

It’s sweltering—nearly game time—we’re walking through the Angel Stadium parking lot, heat mirage rising from the pavement, and my swollen, aching arm is in a sling. My broken arm was complicated the day before by a vile, venomous, vindictive bee. A bee so stealthy and cunning that I saw the fire-breathing, ruthless golden dragon neither … Read more

I was just in the garage, longingly and lovingly staring at my bikes. Before that, I was reminiscing about the “good ol’ days” with my Strava app on my phone. It indicates that I’ve logged 1,201 rides, resulting in 1,200 without any broken bones. All those times I didn’t break my arm when maybe I … Read more