Bearable Children are supposed to bury their parents, not the other way around. It’s known as an “out of order death” when you lose a child. It is the worst jolt I have ever experienced. Experience. My understanding is that this grief will not “go away.” For as long as you love, you will grieve, … Read more
Free Spirit at the Block Party There were families, food, beverages, games, a live band, and free-spirited seniors shimmying and shaking like there wasn’t tomorrow or a soul or an entire neighborhood watching—like me watching. One woman in particular’s dancing was mesmerizing—fluid, unafraid, and total commitment. She embodied freedom. I stood back alone for a … Read more
Downcast Why, my soul, are you downcast?–Psalm 43:5 A couple were on a bike ride in the city. “I need to buy a pack of cigarettes,” the man told his wife as he scanned the asphalt jungle within his purview. The wife shot him a quizzical look. Neither of them smoked and never had. … Read more
The Overlook We happened by this spot overlooking the Willamette recently, and the memory of Joey (from 13 years ago) walking across the grass flashed. Since this felt more sweet than bitter, I decided today to come again: this time solo, but for my smallish box of Bluestar Donuts for sweet comfort, should that become … Read more
Cold Hard In the fog of grief, the practice of focusing on heaven helps ease my pain, but sometimes, I forget that tool is available to me, and it falls to the ground. On Monday, I was reminded to stretch, lean in, and pick it up. Look up to heaven. That’s where my peace—if momentary—can … Read more
You’ve probably already seen the brilliant viral shot of the Olympic surfer Gabriel Medina. Some suspected it was AI-generated or Photoshopped, but it was an actual, pure moment captured by photographer Jérôme Brouillet. One article referenced the surfer “pointing to the sky with biblical serenity.” My friend Kirsten mentioned that it was like Jesus … Read more
Dependence Day I awake most every morning from a bad dream—this varies from a stressful or troubling scenario to an outright nightmare. It’s so hard to start a day like that. I get off on the wrong foot even before putting my foot on the floor on the right side of my bed. I write … Read more
On June 2, 1986, John and I celebrated our second wedding anniversary in our little condo in Santa Ana, CA. We were babies. Apparently, cotton is the tradition (gift) for that 2nd year. I just learned that this very minute. That seems right since I had stacks of soft cotton receiving blankets in the nursery. … Read more
We’ve been front and center in Portland watching my grandson’s science experiment, a Cup of Caterpillars. (If you watch this short video, you see that the caterpillars hang on tight to their “ceiling”—and this is important.) Unfortunately, we left before the butterfly finale. Watching this evolving miracle, I was reminded of the words from last … Read more
More to This A beloved pointed out these flowers (“The Pink Dogwood”) because the petals point upward to the sky. I wonder how they have such strength to go against gravity. Now I see them everywhere. I’ve been taking photos of them because I think the delicate petals are looking up–reaching up, imagining … Read more