Collage:
What is Real
Sept. 6, 2018
I didn’t open my eyes to look at the orange numbers on the digital clock, so I can’t tell you what time it was, but I do know it was still dark when I heard the familiar sound of my coffee mug being placed onto the stone coaster on my nightstand. Etched on the marble square is, “You are my rock.” (This decorative piece was a gift from a friend many years ago during a time I needed a solid, real reminder.) Still dark in the bedroom—and I’m guessing a few moments later, I felt a light kiss on my bedhead—a goodbye from my husband who was headed to the airport.
I was so groggy from finally getting to sleep after a night battling worry and insomnia, I didn’t move a sore muscle (I also fell off my bike yesterday). I went to bed the night before a little discouraged. So no goodbye, no thanks for the coffee, no safe flight, honey. No nothing.
Falling back to sleep, I dreamed a dream—a dream within a dream:
I heard the clunk of the mug onto the stone and felt the light kiss. I half knew I ought to be a nice Proverbs 31 wife and fully wake up and say goodbye. But I was exhausted and proverbly just lazy. With my eyes still closed (remember, this is still a dream within a dream), I scanned the imaginary worry collage in my mind, as I had done the night before, recounting the reasons life is just so flippin’ hard lately. On my back—in my dream—I slowly opened my eyes and looked up at the bedroom ceiling, which was illuminated. Every square inch was covered in colorful snapshots, corner to corner, edge to edge, all photographs and a few short notes and signatures tucked under the edges of photos, peaking out, offering an encouragement and love. It was a collage of life—of my life—people who I have loved and who have loved me back. Some of whom are now gone. The expansiveness and vibrant colors were sending the message of LOOK! LOOK at the fullness of your life, LOOK at how blessed you have been and will continue to be. Just LOOK! TRUST.
The dream ended. I woke up. My bedroom lit by the morning sun, I looked up at the white ceiling and remembered my dream. I could no longer see the collage, but I knew it was real.
Philippians 4:8: “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.”