Yes And

 

Yes And

 

“Yes, and” is a rule-of-thumb I learned in improv comedy class, and it’s also a good approach to general collaboration and personal growth. It takes humility. I’m proposing that the secret to peace might be the dynamic duo of “Yes, and.”

 

Why we resist that combo astounds me. I don’t think I’ve ever seen more all-or-nothing, uncompromising, polarized perspectives in our interpersonal, televised, print and online media. The somehow-passive-aggressive-yet-gut-punching social media memes about gun control? The “friends” yelling back and forth in the threads? I said it this week hoping it was an original phrase but I Googled it and saw that someone else thought of it first. I hate that. The phrase is “listening is the new talking.”

 

I heard Brene Brown speak at an event in Santa Monica a few months back. As usual, what she said resonated with me and one thing in particular that night was this, and this is from memory: “I love humanity, I’m a big fan, it’s the people I have trouble with.” I get what she was saying. I am a big fan of love and humanity, of ooey gooey kumbaya, but people sometimes? Holy crap.

 

Can we talk?

 

Maybe more importantly, can we listen?

 

I saw a meme yesterday that at first I thought was one thing that turned out to be another. It said, “When my child hits another child with a stick, I don’t blame the stick, but I still take the stick away” (by “Dechiphering Morgan.”) YESSSssss! While I love it, I do think the “logical” direction/conclusion some would draw might be, “See? You want to take my guns away! I knew it!” So that’s why I’m not reposting that meme. As good as the main point is: We’re not blaming the stick.

 

I’ve really resisted ever being political online. It just has seemed so futile. But now, I’m resisting my previous resistance. Still, this is not about party. Politically speaking, I’m independent. You might say, I’m a little “not-all-or-nothing.” My political pendulum swings. I’ve got to say, my gun rights pendulum has swung a little more over the past few weeks. I think we need to listen to our children. Sometimes they’re just flippin’ brilliant. WISE. Wise beyond their tears.

 

I’ve been searching for the full speech by Lorenzo Prado delivered yesterday. He was one of several Stoneman Douglas High School students who gut-wrenchingly, valiantly spoke about their Valentine’s Day this year. Prado gave an account of what it was like for him that “All Hearts Day” when he was mistaken for the gunman who murdered seventeen innocent lives around him. He used his shaky voice. He was visibly nervous, traumatized, heartbroken.

 

I got choked up several times but no more than when he spoke of his friend and water polo teammate who had Olympic dreams, and who he’d helped with math. His friend who lost all his dreams because another young man was able to legally purchase a gun when he should not have. If anyone can find the full clip, I’d appreciate it. So far this is the extent of what I can find.  http://www.tallahassee.com/videos/news/2018/02/21/watch-stoneman-douglas-high-school-shooting-survivor-lorenzo-prado/110680050/

 

I hear the comparisons. Some of my most brilliant, loving, beloved Christian and beloved non-Christian friends have compared gun control to dangerous things like swimming pools. They ask, “What? Should we drain all the swimming pools in America because kids drown in them?” Um, when was the last time a mentally ill young man ran into a school full of children wielding a swimming pool?

 

People are listing kitchen knives, airplanes, motor vehicles, hammocks, skydiving, ham sandwiches….They ask, should we ban all these things?

 

So many of them will take another tack, and list all the REAL reasons for the gun violence, like the lack of parental supervision or general moral decay, basically that America has gone to hell in a hand basket.

 

Yes! And?!

 

Why that can’t also mean that we take a look at our gun laws flabbergasts me every day lately.

 

Even though it flabbergasts me today, way back before Sandy Hook, I used to think like this: If we change the laws for law-abiding people, then only the bad guys will have the guns. That’s insane. No one is trying to take away your guns.

 

Paranoid much?

 

Can we honestly look at what’s keeping us personally cemented in our positions and why our country cannot get this together like other countries have been able to? Only you know what keeps you thinking as you’ve always thought. (Teeny subliminal message: Ego.) I have a hunch our country—from the top—continues to think less with their collective brain and heart than with their hands which accept money from lobbyists—so that they keep their jobs.

 

A relationship expert might suggest employing a “Yes, and” in general conflict resolution.

 

Can we do that, American humanity? Please?

 

I know not everyone reading this is Christian, so you can skim or skip this part altogether. To you Christians, check out James 2:14-17.

 

You may say this is taking things out of context and maybe my theologian friends will correct me. I’m open to correction. But here’s what I think. In this passage generally used for the faith-without-works argument, I would like to see if we can imagine something along the same thought process. Work with me, here.  James is talking about if you see someone without clothes and food and give them a thumbs up, and maybe simply say to them, Hey buddy, hang in there, and walk on down to the Megaplex to see an Oscar nominated film, rather than actually handing the hungry and cold person a sandwich, some warm clothes, a blanket…something is WRONG.

 

My guess is that as Christians, we ought to do something practical. “Thoughts and prayers”? Yes, And:

 

And look at the gun laws.

 

Change gun laws to actually help protect our rights and our lives.

 

That doesn’t mean take way all the guns.

 

Listen to the children wise beyond their tears.

 

My Lord, America is crying, kumbaya.