Easy Like Sunday Morning
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ― Maya Angelou
Ever notice how each day of the week looks different? Not only feels different but actually looks different? Some days are a little less noticeable, like say, Tuesdays and Thursdays and hump day Wednesdays maybe. But Monday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday–it’s crazy-different–and if I had to pick one day that absolutely looks different no matter the weather, it’s Sunday. This Sunday, look at it. Look at the air, look at the sidewalk (not necessarily the people on the sidewalk, but the actual sidewalk), look at the streets (not how fewer cars there are, but the actual pavement), look at everything. It all just looks so chill. If it were a color, it would be a cool blue. But a warm temp, cool blue somehow. And with this warm-cool blue, you feel different, right? Calmer, more relaxed, more okay in your PJs and bedhead, even in church. 😉 In a way, it’s like that with people, with friends.
I physically, spiritually, intellectually, and emotionally feel different around certain people, like I’m a different version of myself. After I walk away from some, I feel infused. Energized. The best possible me. I feel better about myself because of what they emit, of the vibe they give off. I know, I know, no one can make you feel any certain way without your permission AKA no one controls me, no one’s the boss of me, yada yada. It’s not that kind of thing. It’s a different spin on “You made me feel…” These people are a gift and give a gift, freely. They’re easy. They make me feel good about being Pammy. Just little ol’ Pammy, unplugged.
People just sort of give off that “different day of the week” thing. From some, the variance is so mild, it’s not as noticeable, but it’s almost always there. And it’s mostly not good or bad, but I feel like a different Pam around different people. Not that I adjust anything about my behavior necessarily, I just feel like a different “day.” For example, like the way you might feel like a kid again when you’re around your mom or dad, even though you’re an adult.
If I’m honest, and it’s not necessarily because they did or said anything wrong, but there are certain people I’m around that, after I say goodbye, I feel depleted. Exhausted. And once in a while, I walk away from someone feeling less secure about who I am. In their presence, I “had” to do some work, plug in the ol amp.
I had been sick well over a week after getting home from Guatemala and I finally felt well enough to get out in the world, so I accepted John’s invitation to take his massage appointment. Massage and I get along quite nicely. I’m a big fan.
After my massage, I got in the car and pulled out onto the street, and saw the most jaw-dropping sunset. I almost crashed the car text-alerting the world to get out there and see it. Hey, it was an emergency! The dramatic fireball in the sky nearly made me cry.
I pulled into my garage and my phone chirped. I looked down and saw the name of a lifelong friend, someone I hadn’t spoken to in years. Sure, we interact on Facebook, but I hadn’t seen her name come up on my phone and I hadn’t heard her voice in forever.
It was a perfect trifecta: massage, sunset, Vicki! I was excited because I remembered how she always made me feel, from that first day we met at church camp when I was a teen. I excitedly answered the phone, “Vic!!” and then I heard the gift she’s always given me—her generous, genuine laugh. Her laugh says, “You’re so funny, Pammy. I really like you. I like being with you.”
When we first met circa 1980, we exchanged backstories. Hers was way more exciting. She told me about how, as a little actor in Hollywood, she’d danced with Elvis in Harem Scarem. Over the years, our friendship grew and I asked her to be one of my bridesmaids. I always, always, always admired Vicki. Not just because of how she made me feel, or because she dances so well she’s good enough for Elvis, or that she’s beautiful and smart and hilarious, but because she’s such a warm light. And she’s that warm-blue color. I have a feeling that she makes everyone feel good about who they are whenever she’s in their presence.
People tend to plug in, to present themselves in an effort to control how they are perceived and impact how they want to feel about themselves after they walk away. And then there are those unique gifts like Vicki, who give easy, selfless, generous, genuine laughter. I’ll take her any day of the week because she makes every day Sunday, where I can be easy, chill…unplugged, rocking my bedhead and PJs, and where I will never forget how she’s made me feel.