Cruise

Cruise

 

I woke up today having been married 34 years. I’m not sure how that happened. Especially since I’m in my early forties.

 

John and I are also on our first cruise. As I lay in bed, I had a teeny bite of the writing bug. Partly because I’m deeply grateful for my life, but also because I wanted to dispel some myths about my life. As long as John and I have been together, the feedback we’ve always gotten about what our relationship looks like has been consistent: That it’s idyllic. That we have it easy. That’s always been puzzling to me because I’ve always thought I showed real life. (But who posts photos of themselves crying or arguing, right? We’re all smiling when the iPhone is aimed our way.) I like to be as authentic as possible, in person and online, but for some reason, people tend to say the same thing. That we have this perfect life. I never meant to send that message because it serves no one. And it’s just not true.

 

After posting forty-thousand pictures on social media of idyllic and interesting scenery on this most recent adventure, I’m not going to now complain. For one thing, no one wants to hear me complain. No one will buy it.

 

As I’ve gotten a little older, I explain myself a little less. When I sense or am blatantly confronted with judgment, I’m a little quieter, less defensive. Teeny bit more peaceful than I used to be.

 

John and I didn’t travel at all in the first half + of our marriage. At all. We couldn’t afford it. And when we have, most of our big leisure trips have been a bonus from his job, Interactive Intelligence and now, Genesys. Freebies. Grace. Gifts. Oh wait, I’m explaining.  The members of the jury are instructed to disregard that last statement.

 

Don’t disregard the gifts and grace part, though. Because good and bad, our life together has been a gift. The “bad” gifts, also known as “interesting,” help highlight the good gifts. The rough waters make us appreciate the smooth. Please don’t misunderstand the travel log of our life, we’ve had plenty of both waters.

 

We wake up every morning with a clean slate, a fresh word document. And choices to make.

 

I’m still gonna post pictures of the rest of our trip. Forgive me if it looks like bragging. I’m not boasting. I’m showing life. There may be idyllic and interesting scenery. They only convey part of a story. You can unfollow me if they bother you.

 

Wait, I sound defensive. The members of the jury are instructed to disregard that last statement.

 

Case in point. I say things I shouldn’t. I do things I regret. I often need a take-back, a do-over. On the regular, I need grace, I need gifts, I need freebies. I’m thankful for fresh pages.

 

Our life has not been a smooth cruise. But I wouldn’t want to cruise with anyone else. Here’s to thirty-four more.

 

 

(Another case in point: the date and time display in the photo are screwed up, imperfect.)